Finch says funny things / 6
Life is so interesting with this little dude. He loves to make up stories and jokes to make us laugh. I try to quickly jot them all down as they happen. Please enjoy!
“‘Have a picnic on the moon’ is the best idea I ever had!”
“I don’t know if I’m going to marry Margaux or Emma. I haven’t decided yet.”
”Alexa, fart ‘Happy Birthday’ to us.”
“Tidying up is my favorite chore.”
Finch: “My crush is Emma from my school.”
Rooney: “Does she act like she likes you?”
Finch: “No, but I’m gonna marry her.”
“You know who my crush is? Margaux. I crushed her at school today.”
“How do you spell ‘far’? Like ‘fart,’ but without the ‘t’?”
“Mommy is legendary and I like her.”
Rooney: “I want a sister.”
Finch: “I want a twin brother!”
After a date with Eric: “Can every Nov. 4 be Dude’s Day?”
Finch: “Are you going to marry me when you get older?”
Rooney: “No.”
Finch: “Oh yeah. I’m going to marry Margaux.”
Me: “Do you see that star up there? That’s Mars!”
Finch: “How do you know?”
Me: “Daddy told me, and he knows everything.”
Finch: “No, he doesn’t. Does he know that doorknobs come from burping dragons?”
“Bath water is God’s sweat. Snow is God’s cold sweat. Thunder is God bowling and lightning is angels taking pictures of God bowling.”
Watching BTS sing on TV:
Finch: “What are their names?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Finch: “I thought moms knew everything.”
In the kitchen, getting seconds: “I accidentally swallowed my pizza.”
After waking us up at 2:45 am: “Sally [the dog] was sleeping with us … and I made a mess of Duke’s [sausages] and didn’t clean it up … and Sally ate it … and now she’s sad because they’re all gone … and she’s still hungry … could you go get her some food?”
Eric: “I like that guy’s mustache.”
Finch: “It looks like yours when you were a baby.”
Pulling off my wedding ring: “I’m trying to unmarry you so you can marry me.”
Eric: “Hey Bud, do you want to take off your mask?”
Finch: “I thought you’d never ask.”
“Just noticed you didn’t do my laundry.”
Eric and I were having a silly disagreement about where I should fold the laundry, and Finch walks by and nonchalantly says: “You guys might have to get a divorce.”
Me: “Bud, you stink.”
Finch: ”No one calls me Bud; I am your master.”
“Ow, you should have unsharpened your fingernails!”
Me: “You need to brush your teeth longer.”
Finch: “I can do what I want.”
Turning off the bathroom light: “Don’t want to waste the battery.”
While eating an applesauce pouch: “These have healthcare in them.”
With my bottle of Coke: “Can I have this beer?”
Overheard from the back seat...
Finch: “Do cows have four penises?”
Rooney: “Yes, they do.”
Eric: (chokes on his coffee) “That’s going on the blog.”