Finch says funny things // 11
“When you clean out your vacuum cleaner, doesn’t that make you the vacuum cleaner?”
“I would love to date a pizza boy.”
“It tickles when you tickle me.”
“I’m so old, I remember DVDs.”
Looking through Eric’s football scrapbook: “Whoa, dad was a legend!”
“Clothes are a jail for your body.”
“Is everybody ready for my questionable fact of the day? Did you know it’s illegal to test makeup on a gaming controller?”
“I was talking to my imaginary friend, Tina. She’s way bigger than you.”
When I was working from home:
Finch: “Why have you been on this same page all day?”
Me: “This is my email inbox.”
Finch: “Is that your job? To inbox emails?”
“That guy says ‘government’ all over him.”
Browsing the aisles at Target: “I’m taking my sweet time.”
“I have a lot to teach ya.”
“If football doesn’t go well for me, I have a bright future in bartending.”
Finch: “It’s super warm out here.”
Me: “You have goosebumps.”
Finch: “Those are from yesterday.”
“I woke up one hour later than usual. So, hefty bonus!”
“I have an imagination section in my brain, and there’s a section in that that holds all of my imaginary bow ties.”
“I want to punch Rooney, but I don’t want the consequences.”
“Chin up, it’s the weekend!”
“Me and Carson are men now. We can have mullets.”
“I’ve been living for 8 and three quarters of a year and yet the only thing I’ve learned is never mess with a mad mama.”
“I’m almost mature. You’re only mature when you’re 9.”
“My life goal is to become a scuba diver and hug a blob fish.”
Finch: “Is Wisconsin Dells in Iowa?”
Me: “No, guess where it is.”
Finch: “Where? Oklahoma?”
“I can’t tell the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke.”
After seeing Guy Fieri on TV: “That was Albert Einstein, wasn’t it?”
“Man, food’s expensive these days.”
“Grownups are always drinking coffee and talking about the weather.”
“I love you, but you smell like chocolate.”
Playing football and catching one right in his privates: “Oh! That got me right in the cuticles!”
And now for some sweet ones …
To me on my birthday: “‘Sup birthday girl! That’s a 41-year-old that looks like she’s 28!'“
“I’m happy to have a mom who understands me and my ADHD.”
“Thank you for signing me up and driving me to practice and picking me up. I love you.”
These will never get old!